At the very brink of pedagogical sanity, the loss of belief in students’ abilities, in my efforts to ‘teach’ anything, come the student comments that save me from myself. During a recent meeting, a student said that the class has politicized his worldview, giving him both an alternative narrative and a critical apparatus/ space form which to examine the world.
Another student, a former Marine with four frontline tours in Iraq, whose presence drastically changed in-class dynamics, told me today that our class has significantly changed his perceptions about American foreign policy, the Iraq war and his roe within that frame. The student said that he often discusses ideas from our class with his military friends and (former) superiors: dehumanization, the (possible) complicity of language in that process, and (his favorite) the Derridian dictum “as soon as you have the concept of the One, you have violence” (thanks Ken).
Complements such as these deserve more than my usual response to them; a smiling nod and “I’m glad to hear that.” Unfortunately, I am terrible at accepting emotional complements, at other human beings stating that I have/ or had an internal impact on them; the possibility is paradoxically what I live and strive to achieve but one that is impossible to face in the moment of manifestation. Complicating matters is a tiny tyrannical voice demanding spiritual perfection, complete humility, and the rejection of self-aggrandizement. Then, Thich Naht Hanh’s soothing grandfatherly voice reminds me not to do violence to the emotional upheavals but let them float on breath’s stream. He also tells me it is ok to post the complements on my blog as long as I perform the, now canonical, postmodern meta-self-reflexive gestures.
